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This is insightful Sumayah, the topic "The Cost of Self-Abandonment," resonated deeply with my personal experiences. As a person who has made sacrifices for the sake of peace of mind, particularly in the context of my marriage, your discussion struck a chord. I find myself navigating the challenges of staying in a marriage, not for personal fulfillment, but rather to ensure my children grow up with both parents present in their lives. It's an intricate balance, and your exploration of the emotional toll and sacrifices involved provided valuable insights.

Moreover, your discussion on the Palestinian issue echoed sentiments I share as a Muslim. The clarity with which you addressed the struggle against Muslims and the apparent indifference of many Muslim, seemingly prioritising their relationships with some few over the well-being of their fellow Muslims, resonated deeply. It's disheartening to witness the geopolitical complexities that overshadow the unity that should prevail among Muslims. Your podcast not only shed light on personal struggles but also on broader societal issues, and I appreciate the thoughtful analysis you brought to these challenging topics.

Thank you for providing a platform for such meaningful discussions.

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Thank you for sharing this, Sumayah. The point about considering backing out before it backfires is one that resonates. I have a hard conversation coming up soon and I’ve intentionally put it off for a while as I didn’t feel I had the capacity to have it in a grounded manner, given a few other things on my plate. It’s a tender spot, particularly at times when there’s a lot we’re holding and perhaps not as much support as would be helpful to hold it. So I appreciated your point about if and when we can do it, with context in mind. Thank you for the space you’ve created to have these conversations, Sumayah. May Allah bless you 🩵

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I think spiritual abuse also adds to people losing themselves. If you want to spend time alone, to fix your relationship with Allah, you’re friended upon if you’re not visiting the sick or visiting parents etc. It has to be their way or the high way. What we need to remember is that there are many doors to Jannah, we won’t all enter through the same.

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Oh Sumayah! I feel this was speaking directly to me! Esepcially the latter part in which we ‘allow’ for people to take advantage of us. I feel this starts from the parents, grandparents etc. We had a hierarchy system, eldest knows best kind of thing. No doubt, eldest is given wisdom and insights and opportunities that others may not have - but don’t discredit the younger human beings. Having healthy communication isn’t taught in all families either - talk things out. This then festers and you end up not talking to people. It’s sad.

I’ve recently left a job that had really bad energy and took a lot of my time. Allah opened the doors to other rizq (not monetary) in other ways. Subhanallah, just have to trust and stand up for what’s right. Jazaaki Allah khayr as always for sharing your thoughts. And yes! We all deserve friendship, love regardless of our shortcomings!

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Ah Sumayah❤️❤️‍🩹

I started listening to this last week but only managed a few min- and now just listening to it realise how I was meant to hear this now... it resonates deep in my soul- a painful realisation...it’s stronger than ever, the feeling of ‘enough no more’ ....and Alhamdolillah I’ve come a long way from how I abandoned myself for so so long...but I’m not fully there yet...the shackles of culture / parents and so much more keep me in limbo on some days but there’s a fierceness within... it’s waiting to surface - and someday I know will say to that timid me of the past- enough, you are free!

JazakAllah for sharing this- need to process this more ...

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Asalamu alaikum Sumayah,

After listening I feel that this is an important topic and very insightful on your part. I'm part of the previous generation and we were seen and not heard kids. When I look back on my life I remember that I had to constantly recheck my situation and look around and decide what I should and should not change with caution. We have been gifted with the ability to choose and that takes work. It's going to always be easier to just lay back and keep things the same once you had already settled into your situation. However, I find that it's necessary for us to remember to refresh every now and then, not just for you but for others around you. You are going to make mistakes but those are things that you learn from and they will make you a stronger and better person. The truth is always important but how you deal with it and relay it to others is even more important. insha'allah may Allah grant us with his mercy and the ability to choose with the best for all concerned in all situations of life. Alhumdullilah, Ma'sha'allah thank you for your insight. Jazakhalah kheir,

Umm Hamzah

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